I had a friend in Bible School who told me he had a theory in which he believed, and I quote, "When someone accuses someone of something, it's usually because they are guilty of that same thing themselves."
I've often thought of this, and over the years I've found this to be so very true. People who are quick to jump on your case and lamblast you over something often do so because they themselves are indeed guilty of the very same thing! Time and again I've seen this pattern, and time and again it has held true.
A good example in our day is the political attitude in America. The left often claim the problem with America is the right, who they make out to be the bad guys and the "fanatical" ones that they claim are full of "hate" and "intolerance." But when you take an objective look at the left, their writers, their heroes, and their leaders, you will find time and again that it is THEY who most often are guilty of spewing hatred, threatening violence, encouraging civil unrest, and even promoting revolution.
Yet, when you point this out, you are automatically labeled an intolerant "dissenter" or an inciter of "civil unrest." It's almost as if they can do no wrong, and the right is wrong just for existing. But who is the real hatemonger? It's the left!
As I look at the concept of the evil ones accusing the just of what they themselves are guilty of, I see the pattern repeating itself time and again. And I can't help but automatically think to myself, "If so and so is accused of something, he's probably innocent and those accusing him are indeed the guilty ones."
As I study more, I continually find that all throughout history it seems time and again those who were on the right were constantly labelled as the bad guys by the left, and often eradicated because they would not waiver on what they believed.
The case of Jesus Christ is a prime example. The Pharisees, who tried to appear innocent and righteous in the eyes of man, where the scourage of the earth using religion to steal from widows and milk people of their earnings. When Jesus appeared, the sinless Lamb of God, they had nothing good to say about Him. Instead, they accused him of everything under the sun. They even charged him with the outrageous sin of blasphemy, when they themselves were the blasphemers who rejected Jesus and eventually crucified Him.
As I see the pattern time and again, I think to myself, there must be a reason for all this. I'm no psychologist (nor do I want to be), but I believe there is something to all this. There must be an explanation of why those who do wrong want to blame others instead of take the blame themselves. (You know, kind of like Cain did with Abel).
I guess the reason is that people just don't want to be found out. I'm sure that Bible verses like, "Be sure your sin will find you out" (Num. 32:23), must scare them horribly. Deep down in their psyche, they must know what they are doing is not right. But rather than expose themselves and turn from their evil ways, they know it's just easier to place the blame on others, thinking the accusation against someone else would get the eyes of them and on the accused.
Maybe it makes them feel better to pass the blame to others so they don't feel bad themselves for what they have done or said. Or maybe they just enjoy making others feel bad, and it makes them feel empowered. Or maybe they secretly want others to be just as bad as they are, because that would make them think they aren't that bad because everyone is just like themselves.
Whatever the reason might be, history, the bible, and experience prove that time and again when someone accuses you of something, it's almost certain that the reason they are doing so is because THEY THEMSELVES are guilty of the very same thing!
Because of this, I've made it a point to do my best to never blame anyone for anything. That is, if a man or woman sins, I just try to leave that between them and God. I don't call them or write them a letter and tell them they are guilty of this and that. If they are, they know it already. They don't need me to remind them. They probably think of it over and over every day and it bothers them greatly.
They do not need someone riding them and reminding them of their wickedness, for this usually turns them off and makes them angry, hateful, and spiteful. What they do need is someone who can tell them how to get rid of that sin. That's what is so great preaching the Gospel! It's not so much about accusing someone personally of a certain sin. It's about spreading the wonderful Biblical truth that God died for all their sins. Let them fill in the blank of which sin they want to accuse themselves of.
As a preacher, I've learned that preaching against sin is important. And, I try to do that. But I also don't accuse others of their sins personally face to face. That's what a Pharisee would do. Instead, I try to preach against sin, and hopeful they themselves will come to the conclusion that what they are doing is sin and they'll be convicted. And hopefully, they will come to that conclusion from the SCRIPTURES, and not from man's personal accusation.
With that stated, I'll close by saying that I have been personally accused many times of things by other Christians. Or maybe I should say, "those who call themselves Christians." And I can say that when someone accuses you of being guilty of something, it really hurts. That is at first. But if you can pray, read the scriptures, and take a long look at yourself and see that what they accuse you of is not true, then it's great to know their accusations don't have a leg to stand on. And every day that goes by, it's great to know that they are the bad guys, for they have LIED about you. And eventually, it will come out that what they accused you of is probably what they themselves are guilty of themselves! And if you'll just give it time, they will expose themselves for what they really are!
As Jesus said to the Pharisees, "Let him that hath no sin cast the first stone!"
That means we shouldn't be throwing any stones, because we ourselves are all sinners. We should be looking at ourselves, instead of looking at others and trying to get into their business and trying to straighten them out. Instead, we should pray for them, and ask God to show them their sins. Further, we should pray that God would convict them of their sins, and that they would get right.